Finding the right couples therapist matters more than most people realise when they start looking. The fit between you, your partner, and the person you work with shapes everything — how quickly things move, how safe the conversations feel, how honest you’re able to be.

If you’re looking for couples therapy or marriage counselling in Havelock North, Hastings, Napier, or anywhere in Hawke’s Bay — here’s what I’d want you to know.

What to look for in a couples therapist

Specific training in couples work. Individual therapy and couples therapy are genuinely different disciplines. A therapist who is excellent with individuals doesn’t automatically translate well to the complexity of working with two people in a relationship. Look for training in specific couples methodologies — Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Imago Relationship Therapy — and check how long they’ve been applying it in practice.

Experience with your specific situation. If you’re dealing with affair recovery, make sure the therapist has worked extensively with this. If you’re a high-achieving couple where the relationship has suffered because of the demands of work or business, look for someone who understands that specific dynamic. Not all couples therapy is the same.

An approach that makes sense to you. Ask how they work. Not just the methodology name — ask what actually happens in sessions, what they’re looking for, how they think about change. If the answer is vague or feels generic, that’s information.

Someone you both feel you can talk to. This sounds obvious but it matters enormously. Both of you need to be able to say things in that room that you haven’t been able to say at home. If one person doesn’t trust the therapist, the work becomes very difficult.

Questions worth asking

Before you commit to working with anyone, including us, I’d encourage you to ask:

  • How long have you specifically worked with couples?
  • What training and methodology do you use for couples work?
  • How do you handle it when one partner is more willing than the other?
  • What does a typical session look like?
  • What’s your success rate, and how do you measure it?
  • What happens if we feel stuck or the sessions aren’t helping?

A good therapist will answer these directly. If the answers feel evasive or overly reassuring without substance, trust that feeling.

About us

Grant and I have been working with couples in Havelock North and Hawke’s Bay for over twenty years. We’re both certified professional counsellors, trained in Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We’ve worked with over 5,000 couples across New Zealand, and our success rate across that work is 85–90%.

We also work online with couples throughout Hawke’s Bay and across New Zealand — Hastings, Napier, Central Hawke’s Bay, and everywhere beyond.

The best way to know whether we’re the right fit for you is a free 15-minute call. Come with your questions — including the hard ones. We’ll answer honestly.

One more thing

I’d gently encourage you not to choose a couples therapist the way you might choose a dentist — based primarily on proximity or availability. The quality of the fit matters far more than the convenience. A therapist who is genuinely experienced with your specific situation and whose approach resonates with both of you will create better results than someone who is simply local and available.

That said — if you’re in Havelock North or Hawke’s Bay, we’d love to meet you in person. And if you’re further afield, online works just as well.

Book a free 15-minute call to start the conversation.