Frequently Asked Questions

In over twenty years of working with couples, the ones who make it aren't the ones with the smallest problems — they're the ones who decide to try. I've seen couples come to us saying they were completely done, that there was nothing left, and find their way back to something neither of them expected was still possible. If you're still asking the question, that matters. The free call is the right place to start.

Most relationship help focuses on what you're doing — communication techniques, conflict management tools, scripts for difficult conversations. Those things have their place, but they're not where lasting change comes from. What Grant and I have found, working with thousands of couples, is that the real shift happens at a deeper level — who you're being with each other, not just what you're doing. When that shifts, everything else changes naturally. That's why results happen faster with our approach and why they tend to stick.

It's the approach Grant and I developed over twenty years of working with couples — combining the best of Gottman Method, Imago Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy with what we learned from our own marriage crisis and the thousands of couples we've helped since. The core insight is that change happens at the level of being, not just behaviour. When you shift who you're being in the relationship, the patterns that have been running for years start to dissolve. It works faster than traditional therapy because we go to the source rather than managing the surface.

It means we're not just looking at what you're doing — we're looking at who you're being as you do it. The context you're operating from. The story you're carrying about yourself and your partner, often without realising it. Most conflict in relationships isn't really about the thing you're arguing about — it's about the meaning you've both attached to it. When that meaning shifts, the conflict often dissolves on its own. That's the being level.

Most couples notice something shifting within the first few sessions — not because we've worked magic, but because the approach goes to the source of the pattern rather than managing the symptoms. That said, how quickly things move depends on where you're starting and how committed you both are to the process. The Phoenix Protocol, for couples in acute crisis, is specifically designed to create significant movement in days and weeks. The 90-day Million Dollar Marriage programme works at a deeper level over a longer arc.

It's more common than you'd think. One person reaching out first, willing to start while the other isn't sure — that's a recognisable place. And it works. One person shifting how they're showing up changes the dynamic between you, often more than the partner who isn't yet on board would expect. We can talk through what that looks like for your specific situation on the free call.

We're based in Havelock North, Hawke's Bay, New Zealand. We see couples in person locally and work online with couples all across New Zealand.

Yes — and it works well. We work with couples in Auckland, Wellington, Christchurch, Hamilton, Dunedin, and everywhere in between, including couples in rural areas who'd otherwise have very limited access to this level of support. The methodology and the results are the same as in-person. We've been running online sessions for years and many of our most significant breakthroughs have happened over video.

We use a secure video platform — you'll get a link ahead of time and join from wherever you are. Both of you can be in the same room together, or if you're in different locations, that can also work. All you need is a reliable internet connection and somewhere reasonably private. We'll talk through the practicalities when we connect.

Yes. We see couples in person at our practice in Havelock North. If you're local to Hawke's Bay — in Hastings, Napier, or the wider region — in-person sessions are available. Many couples also travel from further afield, particularly for the Elite Intensives. Contact us for specific location details.

Each session is a little different depending on where you are in the process. In early sessions we tend to do a lot of listening — getting a clear picture of where you are, what patterns are running, and what you're both hoping for. From there the sessions become more active — working through the specific dynamics at play, giving you tools that are relevant to your situation, and supporting you to make real shifts rather than just having good conversations. Sessions are 60 minutes as standard, with 90-minute sessions available for couples who find they need more space.

Standard sessions are 60 minutes. We also offer 90-minute sessions for couples who need more space, particularly in the early stages. For most couples we start weekly or fortnightly, then move to monthly as things settle. For intensive programmes the rhythm is different — more concentrated upfront, then supporting integration over time. We'll design the schedule around what actually works for your life.

The Phoenix Protocol is our intensive crisis intervention programme — designed for couples where something acute has happened and the usual pace of weekly sessions isn't enough. An affair has come to light, one partner has said they want to leave, the relationship has completely shut down. It works in days and weeks rather than months because it goes to the source of the pattern, not just the surface. Available in person in Havelock North and online for couples anywhere in New Zealand.

The Million Dollar Marriage is our flagship 90-day online couples transformation programme. It's designed for couples who are serious about deep, lasting change — not a crisis intervention, but committed work over a sustained period. It includes regular sessions with Grant and me, tools from The Aroha Rapid Transformation Method, and accountability built in throughout. The name isn't about money — it's about the value of what you're protecting.

Two to three-day concentrated sessions, designed for couples who need depth in a compressed timeframe — either because their schedules don't allow weekly sessions, or because the urgency of their situation calls for something more focused. We go further in two or three days than most couples go in months of weekly work. Available in person in Havelock North or fully online. Many couples travel from Auckland, Wellington, or Christchurch for the in-person intensive.

The Phoenix Protocol is specifically for acute crisis — something has broken open and you need significant movement fast. The Million Dollar Marriage and Elite Intensives are for couples who are ready to do deep, transformational work but aren't necessarily in the same kind of immediate emergency. The right programme for you depends on where you are — and that's exactly what the free call is for.

Yes. Sometimes one person starts the work alone — either because their partner isn't ready, or because individual work is what's needed at a particular point. We work with individuals on relationship patterns, leadership, and what we call being-level work — who you're being in your relationships, not just what you're doing. Get in touch and we'll talk through what makes sense.

Yes, absolutely.

Book a free 15-minute call. That's it. You don't need to have figured anything out before you contact us. Tell us where you are, and we'll help you work out the right next step.

We have an honest conversation about where you are and what you're hoping for. We listen first. Then we'll share what we're seeing and whether we think we can help. If we're a good fit, we'll talk about what the next step looks like. There's no sales pitch and no pressure — just a real conversation.

The 60-minute consultation is where we go deeper. We map out your situation properly — what's happening, how long it's been happening, what you've already tried, and what you both want. From there we design a personalised gameplan: not a generic package, but something built around your specific situation, your schedule, and what will actually work for you.

We don't publish prices on the site. Every couple's situation is different, and we'd rather have a real conversation about the right fit before quoting a number. What we can say is that we don't charge by the hour for crisis situations where you need a whole different level of support — the programmes are priced accordingly. Book the free call and we'll walk through everything honestly.

Yes. Everything you share with us is held in strict confidence. We take confidentiality seriously — it's the foundation of being able to do this work at all. The only exceptions are the standard legal and ethical requirements that apply to all counselling professionals in New Zealand, which we'll explain at the start of our work together.

Christine and Grant are both certified professional counsellors with over twenty years of practice. We're trained in Gottman Method, Imago Relationship Therapy, and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). We're co-creators of The Aroha Rapid Transformation Method, developed through more than 10,000 sessions with couples across New Zealand and beyond. And we've been married for over forty years — including the hard parts. That lived experience matters as much to us as the formal training.